Romantic Movies Give Us Unrealistic Expectations of Love

Romantic movies give us unrealistic expectations of love. How the couple meets, at first they hate each other, but in so many, they also fall in love so fast. They barely (or even not at all) know each other, and somehow fall head over heels for each other. So much of the time, the two don’t even seem to take the time to get to know each other before they seem to fall deeply and madly in love.

It doesn’t matter if the movie is animated or not, if it’s romantic, it’s bound to be unrealistic. In the 1950 Disney animated classic Cinderella, fantasy stuff aside, the prince falls in love with Cinderella after just seeing and dancing with her at the ball. He knows nothing about her except how she looks and the sound of her voice. This gives children the idea that as long as you fancy up and just show up, you’re gonna find true love. Then you get hit with reality and realize that that is not how love goes, it’s a long process.

In John Lennon’s song “Mind Games” he says, “Love is the flower you have to let grow,” and that is so true. In romantic films, the love seems to blossom almost right away, unless it is based on a true story. They show how love can happen in the blink of an eye, which isn’t true. Hopeless romantics will many times buy into fictional film versions of falling in love, then realize that’s not how it really is.

Love is not formed at first sight, it needs time to grow, you need to get to know the person first. Movies come out every year with plotlines filled with silly love stories that could never happen in real life. Why do directors do this? Because who wants to see a film where the couple’s love forms slowly like in real life. Who wants to set and watch a couple talk and casually date for weeks or more? Not many. Audiences want to get straight to the meat of the tale, straight to lovey dovey, mushy gushy stuff. They don’t care that much about how the couple fell in love, they just want them to fall in love.

No great, lasting relationship of any kind happens right away, but movie directors seem to always erase that fact. We are lead into fantasy worlds where couples who weren’t fond of each other, end up living happily ever after. The nerd or geek when the heart of the hot jock, the pauper wins the heart of a rich character, the couple that hated each other at first, end up head over heels, yes these scenarios can happen, but there is a low chance. Not many people end up living that happy for life lifestyle, and just because the lovers ride off in a carriage or on a horse or whatever in the end of the story, that’s it, toll credits. You don’t know what happens afterward (unless there is a sequel). The couple could up seperating, divorcing, etc. That is not what Disney and other production companies want people to know.

Children need to learn the real ways of relationships, the smooth and the rocky, and that not all couples are happy and that many aren’t meant to be together. I’m not saying children to see abusive marriages and stuff like that, but just not the sugarcoated stories that are marketed to them. They need to learn that no relationship is perfect like those on screen. Love takes time and it’s time that films start showing more of that.

Love is not perfect, so come on directors, show a real kind of relationship.

Greatest Love Stories in Film

  1. Casablanca – 1942
  2. In the Mood For Love – 2000
  3. Titanic – 1997
  4. The Notebook – 2004
  5. Roman Holiday – 1953
  6. If Beale Street Could Talk – 2018
  7. Say Anything – 1989
  8. Beauty and the Beast – 1991
  9. Moonstruck – 1987
  10. Atonement – 2007
  11. Sylvie’s Love – 2020
  12. Circle of Friends – 1995
  13. The Apartment – 1960
  14. When Harry Met Sally… – 1989
  15. The Princess Bride – 1987
  16. Dirty Dancing – 1987
  17. It Happened One Night – 1934
  18. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – 2004
  19. The Sound of Music – 1965
  20. Swing Time – 1936
  21. An American in Paris – 1951
  22. Sleepless in Seattle – 1993
  23. The Graduate – 1967
  24. Sabrina – 1954
  25. Breakfast at Tiffany’s – 1961
  26. Out of Africa – 1985
  27. Sense and Sensibility – 1995
  28. Love is a Many-Splendored Thing – 1955
  29. The Bridges of Madison County – 1995
  30. Lady and the Tramp – 1955
  31. Grease – 1978
  32. Pillow Talk – 1959
  33. An Officer and a Gentleman – 1982
  34. Annie Hall – 1977
  35. Gigi – 1958
  36. Wuthering Heights – 1939
  37. It’s a Wonderful Life – 1946
  38. West Side Story – 1961
  39. Gone With the Wind – 1939
  40. Love Story – 1970
  41. Ghost – 1990
  42. The Shop Around the Corner – 1940
  43. Sunrise – 1927
  44. Roxanne – 1987
  45. Splendor in the Grass – 1961
  46. Dark Victory – 1939
  47. Jerry Maguire – 1996
  48. Porgy and Bess – 1959
  49. The Awful Truth – 1937
  50. Bringing Up Baby – 1938
  51. City Lights – 1931
  52. From Here to Eternity – 1953
  53. The African Queen – 1951
  54. The Way We Were – 1973
  55. My Fair Lady – 1964
  56. Now, Voyager – 1942
  57. On Golden Pond – 1981
  58. Camille – 1937
  59. Anna Karenina – 1935
  60. The Postman Always Rings Twice – 1946
  61. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? – 1967
  62. A Place in the Sun – 1951
  63. Marty – 1955
  64. Double Indemnity – 1944
  65. The Unbearable Lightness of Being – 1988
  66. Working Girl – 1988
  67. To Have and Have Not – 1944
  68. The Vow – 2012
  69. The Goodbye Girl – 1977
  70. A Star is Born – 2018
  71. Barefoot in the Park – 1967
  72. The Quiet Man – 1952
  73. Silver Linings Playbook – 2012
  74. Two For the Road – 1967
  75. A Star is Born – 1954
  76. Body Heat – 1981
  77. Pride & Prejudice – 2005
  78. Pride & Prejudice – 1940
  79. Emma – 2020
  80. Emma – 1996
  81. Bridget Jones’s Diary – 2001
  82. Jane Eyre – 1943
  83. Jane Eyre – 1996
  84. Jane Eyre – 2011
  85. Woman of the Year – 1942
  86. Coming Home – 1978
  87. Top Hat – 1935
  88. Girl Shy – 1924
  89. The lady Eve – 1941
  90. The Philadelphia Story – 1940
  91. Hannah and Her Sisters – 1986
  92. Brief Encounter – 1945
  93. The Age of Innocence – 1993
  94. Holiday – 1938
  95. Notorious – 1946
  96. Funny Face – 1957
  97. His Girl Friday – 1940
  98. Meet Me in St. Louis – 1944
  99. A Room With a View – 1985
  100. Broadcast News – 1987